Friday, June 30, 2006

I am showing leadership on the world stage.

hi... you no i bein goin all around the world... talkin to forin leaders about freedom and stuf... an they apreshiate me tellin them my opinyins... to help them be better contries...

but it is real funny... every were i go i heare this sound... that sounds like peopl sayin fuck you...

well... i dont have to be talked to that way be cause i am a real good leader for the coalishin...

see... wen there is a deshishin to be made i dont study it real hard... i jest make up my mind real fast... and then i never ever change it... and the more peopl tell me to change it the more i dont change it.... and that is waht a real good leader does. and it proves i am real smart and i never make a mistaek.

now i no some peopl dont agree with my deshishin to invade iraq... they think freedom is real bad... and we shuld surrenner to the terrorist... well i disagree with that... and under my leader ship we are gonna win total victery... so you better start talkin real respec full to yer dear leader and stop sayin fuck you... or i will inflict you...

bye for now

Thursday, June 29, 2006

I honor the sacrifices of our young men and women overseas.

hi... you no i had a real good day yestiday... most of my days are good but yestiday was real good... it was gettin near my morning exsherise break and... they sed i was gonna be joggin with a soljier... that was fitin for freedim in iraq... and that he was a real speshil soljier and i wasnt suppose to stare or anything just be real respectful...

and i went out to the jogin track i have... and there was this soljier there with hooks for legs...

so i tole him his new name was sargint gimpy... and i sed hey sargint gimpy lets see if you can keep up with me... and i lapped him twice... those army guys think they are so touf but they are not too touf as Me... and so it was a real good day.

bye for now.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

I am committed to saving Social Security for our elderly people.

hi... so do you remmemer when i fixed the soshil security last year... well... i am gettin ready to fix it agin. be cause i am gonna keep fixin soshil security until it is fixed real good... and sencse there is an eleschin comin up i figgered it is a real good time to start talkin about the soshil security agin... i just gave a speach about it to a bunch of big shots from my party... and they all got real pail and said it was a real good idea... and one of em started pukin... how come there is all these people pukin lately...

any way i want to talk to the peopl about the soshin security but all any one wants to talk about is iraq... do we have a plan and when are we gonna win and stuff...

well... we do so have a plan... and it is a real good plan... we havent won yet but we are winnin... and i am not gonna ta tell you when we are gonna win be cause that is just gonna incurige the terrorists...

an sayin we scrwed up the war is incurgin them too... how come you want to incurige them so much... you better stop it... or i will inflict you.

bye for now

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I am visiting our European allies.

hi... you no i am over here in yurip rite now... talkin to people about freedom and stuff... and the need to fite terror after 9 11.

but it is real agravatin to come over hear... and be asked qweshtins by a bunch of yuro faggit reporters... that dont no how to ask real good qweshtins like a am erican reporters do... about how my faith keeps me strong wich makes me a real good leader for america.

they were askin me about gwan tommino and i sead... look... it is all full of real bad killers... an i would close it down but i am waitin for the cort judges to tell me... i cant do any thing without the cort judge.

an they was askin a bunch about why the world is seein us as the big thret in the world... and that got me real mad... we are not thretinin any one we are spreadin freedom... and spreadin freedom is real hard work... and it is hard be cause of the insergints that is killin innosints be cause they hate freedom so much. an that is how we are winnin the war on terrar.

any way these yuros better git the picshure real quick be cause it is makin me mad when they qweshtin my decisins.

bye from yurip

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

We will not cut and run from Iraq.

hi... you no there are some peopl... dem o crats... who want us to surenner to the terirists in iraq ... and cut and run... and leave our new iraqi allies to the terrirists...

well... we are gonna stay in iraq as long as i am president and the republicins control the congress... be cause we have lerned the lessins of vietnam... wich is you dont leave until you win... if you are losin just dont leave... that way you dont lose... and that is how i am leadin america to victery in iraq... so they have to stay over there untill they win it.

an i no the lessins real good be cause i was involved in that con flicked... i was flyin in a trainer in the nashinal gard... and this one time i went in for the pre flite check up and i was real hung over from the nite before... and the flite surgin takes one look at me and he says... son there is no way i am lettin you in a plane today... ha ha... so i got out of flyin that day and i got to party on the base all day... and i got lots more stories like that i will tell you some time.

bye for now.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

America will support the new Iraqi government.

hi... you no i just was over in bag dad... i snuck into the contry so it wold be a suprise for the new iraq leader... who i call leeky maleeky

any way he look real suprised to see me... and i said hey leeky i am here to look at you in the eye and say taht everything bad that happins from now on is yer falt... now that you are a govermint. be cause the govermint is responsible for what happens not me...

be cause we are lowerin the expetashins of what we are gonna acomplish over there... if this govermint is still aroun in six months then it was a real good victory for freedom... so i am gonna keep the troops over their so they can see all the freedom i made.

and i said i wanned to see the statue of me.. that they put up in thanks for there liberation... and they saed it wasnt ready yet...

so i hope some day... i can go over to iraq and see the statue of me that they are buildin... and i bet it is gonna be a real big statue by the time that they are done buldin it.

bye for now

Friday, June 09, 2006

We have reached a turning point.

hi... sorry about the no thots in a while but i have bin real busy.... jon ashcroft was visitin me in my basement room and he shoed me where they have pornos on the internets... they got mijit porn... donnkey porn... and any thin else you could want...

any way i am up here in camp david for the week end... and i am with my real smart advisers dick and don... and condy... and a bunch of ot her real smart adversers... and we are figurin out what is goin on in iraq... and havin real good stratigy seshins.

be cause i have bin waitn for my commanders on the groun to tell me they won the war but they have not tole me that yet... so we are figgerin out a real good stratigy to win the war.

now this one aid... he said maybe we could start to pull out in 2008.... and don looked down at some papers he had an started pukin... dam that guy better see a dam docter be cause he is the biggist meetin puker around the wite house...

bye for now from camp david