Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I will not lose Iraq.

hi... you no a lot of peopel are askin me lately... when are the troops gonna come home from iraq... well... like i said it is up to the commandners on the ground over there... i talked to em last week and they sed it was goin real good... and they have a nick name for me... commander numnuts... wich is what they call a guy in the milliarty who does a real good job.

any way i am not gonna pull the troops out until we win... that way we dont lose on my wach... if some one wants ta pull teh troops out when we are losin it is gonna hafe to be some fushure president... be cause i sure as shit am not gonna do it...

so if we win i am the grate victery commander... and if we lose it is gonna be on some other guys watch... so i win ether way ha ha see i am real smart.

bye for now.

p.s. if you are readin this jeb, dont run for president

Saturday, March 25, 2006

There is a lot of good news coming out of Iraq.

hi... you no the media shuld print more stories that suport the troops... and there are a lot of them. i have a briefin every day in the white house... we call it the iraq good news briefin... and my aids come in an we taalk about all the progress we are makin over there.

like this one here... it says that elements of the 3rd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment painted a school... and they were helped by little iraqi childern. and it says they put two coats on so you no they did a real good job....

now after the paintin... all the little iraqi chilern who help them were taken away by some guys... but... no americans was hurt.

so if you have any real good news stories about iraq pleease send them to the white house.

bye for now and go get me some real good stories

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Iraq is going better than you think.

hi... you no a lot of pepole are askin me about iraq... and they are wantin reashurince that things are goin real good over there... well... it is my job as dear leader to say wat i think and talk real resinable... and i say things is goin real good excsept... the dam media likes to talk about exploshins and stuff.

like yestiday... about 60 terorists got real jelis of our fredom and attacked a polise station... well... that hapins every day over here too... but the news papers only get innerested when its over there. and i disagree with that.

an any way my aids are telin me it is too soon to juge if this is a sucess... if iraq gets a stable govermint... in like 50 or a hunnnert years.... then it will be a sucess... so shut up you juging people.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

The 2006 election will be about faith and values.

hi... we are makin owr plans for the eleshin this year... dam we shure do have a lot of eleshins in this contry...

and we was gonna make it about the nashinal securiy but that is not workin out too good so it is gonna be a bout faith and values... be cause every one knos that dear leader has real good faith and values and loves baby jesus... and that is wy i all ways do real good with the evan jellicles.

so we have owr legislative ajenda... and we are gonna innerduse a law that every one has to be a cristian to get federal jobs or federal money... be cause the dam juews dont vote for me even wen they are rich... and the muslims for get it. and the evin jellicles are gonna love the new law.

and if that dont work we are gonna innerduse a law that every one has to neel to baby jesus at gun point... and i am gonna put it under home land security... be cause if baby jesus is mad at us... be cause we dont worship him hard enuf... well then he wont pertect us from the enemies...

lets see the dem o crats opose that legislashin... be cause they ar the party of the devil... and we ar the party of Baby Jesus and keepin america safe... that is so simpl any one can unnerstan it... an that is how i am gonna lead my party to victery over the devil.

bye for now.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

There is no need for a shake up at the White House.

hi... you no i am real mad rite now... i was sittin in the ovel office thinkin up real good deshishins for america... wen i got a call from that god dam no it all james baker...

i did not talk to him i had andy do it... and andy sed he was real respectful and he was just suggestin that we could use a new blood... some one with experience... to help me make my deshishins.

well that is some bullshit... i no who sent him... and he is just jelis be cause i got re elected and i took out saddam... and i am gonna be remmered as the gratest presidient in all of history...

so there is not gonna be any shake up... everythin is goin real good... and the troops are seein lots of progress. any way i am the one god chose to lead the world to free dom... and god does not like to be mocked... so quit criticisn my deshishins or he will inflict you.

bye for now.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Iraq is not in a civil war.

hi... you no a lot of peopl are sayin that iraq is in a sivil war... well it is not... you sivil war peopl... you are readin the news too much... all they talk about is atiy hedless bodys found in the river... and stuff like that.

what you got in iraq is two sides fitin each other... the suiside bomers versis the death squads... now a lot of people are wonderen... what side are we on.... well... it aint the suiside bomers so it must be the other one. be cause they love fredom more... than the suiside bomers do.

and so we are hopin that the deth squads beete the suiside bomers before we have to pull out... and that is victery and i will not settle for any thin less than total victery... be cause i am a winner and i will lead america too victery.

bye for now

Monday, March 13, 2006

We are prepared to hold Iran accountable for its activities.

hi... you no i gave the speech agin on the war support... to get it back from the public... dam it sure was a lot easyer gettin the war support when iraq had the wmd... now it is gettin harder and harder every week.

well you no what dear leader does in a sichuashin like this... he doubles down... yea thats right we are gonna libreate anther contray... and just guess wich one... did you say iran... well you gessed rite....

iran is gonna redeem our reputashin... we are gonna do such a good job with iran that peopl will qwit blamin us for iraq... and it will be the finil proof that the bush doctrin is a real good doctrin...

and we have lernt the lessins of iraq... and they are real clear lessins...
  • first thing... fine out what langwige they speek in the contry you are gonna libreate... we think they speak arbic in iran but we got someone checkin that out... and we will fine out for shure.
  • and you gotta make it real claer that theres not supposed to be any civil wars and stuff... we got marines in iran rite now checkin it out and seein if there is any sexual rivelries...
  • and wen we liberate a contry they gotta start lovin freedom rite away... be cause if there is too many freedom haters setting off IUDs then... it is real hard to make a new democrasy.
  • you gotta have enouf troops too... at the meetin i asked rummy how many troops we are gonna need for the iran operashin... and he looks down at a peeace of paper and he says no more than 2 or 3000 troops... and then he got all pale and started pukin... there sure has been a lot of pukin around here last few weeks...
so you see we are real prepared to take ovoer iraq and then owr reputashin wil be saved... and people will see we were rite all along.

bye for now

There is still time to vote for Dear Leader!

hi... you no i have bin lookin at the votes that peopl are castin for the kofax award... for most humerius blog... and i am not seein a lot of votes for dear leader... so i tole them to hold the vote open another day... so my loyil followers can vote for me...

so click through to this link and leave a comment at the bottom that says "dear leader"...


votin is open until midnite monday...

and if you dont vote i am gonna inflict you but good... bye for now.

Friday, March 10, 2006

We are the permanent majority party.

hi... you no i am hearin a lot of peple in my party... are worrien about the poles... and they are worrien about how we are gonna maintain owr grip on powoer when the poles is so bad we dont have the public suport...

well... i do not worry about poles.. be cause i unnerstan the american system... an it is a real good system...

you dont need public support to have power you jest need to win the eleshin... and it is real easy to win an elshin all you do is dis credit the other guy and that is real easy to do when you have suporters all over the media.. and we have the suppoerters.

and any way we have the power now and we can use it to keep owr grip on power... theres a whole bunch of tricks and stuff we aint even used yet but we will if we have to.

so dont worry we are gonna rain for a thousan years.... no matter wat the pole say. bye for now

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Vote for Dear Leader!

hi... you no my blog here has bin nominated for a wampum award... and i command you to go vote for me for most humeris blog... click on this link


and then leave a comment sayin dear leaders daily thought.... and yuo better do it or i will inflict you...

bye for now

Hindsight is not wisdom.

you no there is a lot of people critisin my deshinshns about iraq... well that is just hine site... and that is not fair wen you look at what happined... and i rememmer it real good.

america got attacked on 9 11.. be cause clinton did not defend america... so the people got real mad at clinton and impeeched him for it and they picked me to be the new leader... be cause i am real bold and i make real good deshishins.

now iraq attacked us because... they didnt have an army and stuff to fite the terrorists with... and they were havin a civl war... and that made them hate our freedum so they attacked us...

so i said hey we gotta go over there and stop that civil war and stand up an army so they can fite the terrorists... and then that way they wont hate owr freedom any more and they wont blow up world trade ceter again... so we went over there.

now some poeple are sayin... we shuld get out of there before we finish standin up there army... well shit then wy did we go over there in the first place then... we are not leavin iraq until thay have a real good army to fite the terorists with so america can be safe... and i am the commander so you have to do what i say i dont even have to essplain why... you are not better then me so quit pretendin you are.

bye for now.

I had a very nice visit to India.

hi... you no i have bin having one of my trips out of the contry... and they took me to indiana and places like that. and one thing i have lerned about indiana is... it is full of little brown people and damn it sure stinks over there.

now you no how i like to liberate contriese... so wen i got there i said am i here to liberate the indians and they said india is al ready a democrasy and i said shit that was fast...

and i had to meet there new demo cratic leader... and he had a towl on his head so i said hey tonto are you one of them muslims... and he sed no so i sead you can have all the nucular weapins you want then... and he was real happey.

any way i will post more thots now that i am bak to america were it doesnt stink so dam much... bye for now from your dear leader