Saturday, January 28, 2006

I am prepared to take military action against Iran.

hi... you no there is peopl in the world that hates us for no reason.. and a lot of them are in the middl east...

now there is one of em called iran that is gonna get the atom bomm... and i have bin havin meetins with my aids and stuff to deside what to do about it. and i sed i want the rejeem change for iran... be cause it worked so good in iraq then i want to do it agin this time in iran.. and we will give em a real good rejime that will not want to have the atim bomm.

and i figger it is gonna take... like fifty guys in a pick up trucks.... and they will invade iran and the peopl will be so happy to be liberaded that they will let us do the rejime change... yeah fifty guyys is about rite.

now my generils are tellin me that they dont have fifty guys or a pick up truck to spare cause they need em all in iraq... an they sade if we atack iran then all the shites in iraq will rebel aginst us... and i tole them god dam it thay have to do it any way... and i am the commander so thay have to follow my orderes... so ther is anuther rejime change that i can take credit for.

bye for now

Friday, January 27, 2006

We have determined our electoral strategy for 2006.

hi... you no it is almos eleshin time agin... we shur do have a lot of dam eleshins in this county... and i have bin workin with karl rove and a bunsh of othre real smart aids to find out owr eleshin stratigy... and it is a real good stratigy.

and it is... we are gonna thretin america witht terrorst attack if they dont vote for the republicins and give us more power... we are gonna promese more 9 11 atacks if peopl vote for the dem o ocrats...

and it is gonna work real good... be cause wat is the use of havin helth care and libertys and stuff if you are dead from the terrerism...

and the terrerism is a real good ishue for us... karl esplained it to me... if they dont atack then it proves we are doin a real good job keepin america save... and if they do attack we blame it on the dem o crats and libruls and stuff and take more power.. to keep amerika safe.. ha ha ha we cant lose.

bye for now and be real afraid of the terirism.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I will make bold proposals in my State of the Union address.

hi... you no i am workin real hard on my state speach... and it is real hard ritin a speach be cause there is so much that has got to go into it.

now last yere my speach was about my real bold plan for fixin the soshil securty... and we fixed it real good.

this yere i got a real bold plan for fixin the helth care... and do you no what my plan is... it is you can pay for yor own dam health care and there will be a tax cut for rich peopl too... so that is gonna incurige you to be rich so you can aford to pay for yer helth care and get the tax cut. that is called a ideoligy and we have a real good ideoligy in my gover mint.

bye for now

Thursday, January 19, 2006

My domestic surveilance program is 100% legal.

hi... you no i hate terorism unlike some people... and i will do anythin to get them. so i am doin a lot of secrit stuff... wire tapin and secrit interigashin camps all over the world.

and some peopl are sayin it is illegil... well i got a bunch of lawyers around here and there job is to say it is all legil if you care about that... and they will.

now i dont care about it too mush.. you no we got atacked on 9 11... an it was be cause we had too many laws and stuff. you see i am real smart i am the first presient to figger that out... i rememmer when i was on vacashin in 01 and they gave me the pdb that said bin laden was gonna strike in the us... i sed dam there is no point in me doin any thing be cause theres too many laws and stuff so i am just gonna stay on vacashin... and you see wut happined next...

now some people are sayin... that i am gettin to be a dick tater be cause i wont follow any laws... well i am not a dick tater... i could be if i wanned to but i dont want to be a dick tater... now i admit that some times when i am drinkin my wisky i start wannin to be a dick tater but wen i wak up i am real glad to be the president. so dont you go worrien about me bein a dick tater.

bye for now.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I urge my critics to be responsible on Iraq.

hi... you kno there is been a lot of discussin goin on... a lot of opinin... about my deshishins in iraq. and some of you peopl.... dem o crats mostly... are sayin that i lied the contry into iraq and i am losin the war and i cant pull us out of the war...

well... you better quit cricisin my deshishins be cause you are hurtin the troops over there in iraq... fitin aginst the enemy...

be cause the troops no there dear leader is infaliable wich means i never make a mistaek... and if you keep criticisn they are gonna get confused and there heads will spin arond and they will ferget who the emeny is... and they will start shootin at each other... with there guns... and it will all be yer falt for critisin.

and if you say i was lien... well if i was lien then why didnt you cach me lien... esplain that mister smarty pants. you are just helpin the emeny... and you better quit helpin them or i will inflict you.

bye for now and support yer dear leader aginst the emeny.

Monday, January 09, 2006

I want a dignified confirmation process.

hi... you no ther is the confrmashin process goin on for the cort judge... and it is sam allito.

but he was not my first choise wich was my lawyer hariet miers... i piked her but then she said she did not wanna be a cort judge no more... so she coud stay in the wite house with me and watch me make real good desishins for america.

so then they brot in sam allito and said he was the new cort judge... and i did not no him he is not in my loyalty net work... he is this greasy wop lookin guy and i said hey greesy we used to make guys like you mop floors at yale... and he just smiled.

so he is a real smart gy who is gonna give a lot of class to the suprem cort. and he agres with my executive powers... wen he gets on the cort i am gonna start usin my powers more... espeshily against congres they are gettin real uppity. and some of them need to no there place wich is to take orders from there commander.

bye for now... o and p s i did not now jack abramoss or tom de lay i never met them and if i did i did not like to meet with them. so dont go lookin for any connecshins with me and them. bye for now.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

I had a very good meeting with former Cabinet members.

hi... i had a real good meetin today with a bunch of secritaries to other presidents... that is a picshure of us up with me... and dick and rummy and condi.... and you can tell how jelis they all wer that they did not get to be my secritarys... and i did not no a lot of them i think some of em worked for my dad... wen he was presidnet.

and we tole them that we have a real good victery plan in iraq and things are real good over there and evrey thing is on track for victery anad i tole them to go out and spred the word so peple will see we have a real good vcitery plan.

and then i went in the next room to play my video game be cause it was video game time.. and i herd a lot of shouten and stuff from the meetin room it sounded like they were havin a real good meetin.

any way this otta get pepole to stop critisisn my war deschisns and you better quit critisizn me before you hert any more troops.

bye for now.