Friday, September 30, 2005

Karen Hughes is doing a really good job.

hi again... you know i am real concerned with the way america is perseeved in the world. every one knos we are the freest country in the world and the goodest contry too. and we are so free and so good a lot of peopple... who dont love freedom like we do, they hate us. we are way more into freedom than anyh other contry... and i have been talkin to my advisers about why they hate us so much. and they are sayin that we are not explainin our selfs better.

so i needed some one to go out and explain america so they will understand us better... so they will stop hatin us... so i went to my loyalty network and i knew rite away who i wanted... karen huge she is this man-lookin lady who has been with me for years and years... she is like a three star general in my loyalty network. and she is my communication directer.... and i new she was the one to carry our message...

and she jest got back from her trip and she did a real good job... i was kinda worred that they wuld cach her and cut her head off... but they told me that is only iraq and she didnt go to iraq on her trip... wich is good be cause we need her to carry our message of stop hatin us...

bye for now.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

There is a lot of good news coming out of Iraq.

hi... you kno i never read the news papers or watch the news on tv... and that is because that is all just a filter... i get my news right from the people who kno stuf... my staff. and they tell me the stuff i need to kno to make the dicisions i make as president.

now lately i have been hearin a lot of good news about iraq... i bet if you read the news papers and stuff you think things are out of control over there... well that is be cuase they filter out all the good news. and my staff say thay make an extra effert to get me the good news...

liek tuesday... they caght this suiside car bommer drivin aroun in the green zone. and they caght him be fore he set off his bomm. see our alert personnel over there in the green zone were able to catch on to the bomber after he had been drivin around awhile... so the bomb dint go off. and that is proof we are winin. see that is the good news you never here from the eleet media. bye for now.

Monday, September 26, 2005

I have the greatest Administration ever assembled.

hi... you know we are workin real hard to contain the damage from the hurricain... i had to go to a bunch of borin breafings and stuff on the new hurrican and it was even the week end... and i even had to get rid of browny my fema guy it was real embarrasin to me to have to do that.

see the way we staff the govermint jobs is with my loyalty network... ther are people i trust to submit to my Will.. and then ther are the peopl that they trust and so on down the line.

and the loyalty is real importent be cause i am the only one who can run the country and keep it safe. be cause almitey god has chosen me as the leader. so i dont want the people in my administrashin freelancin and stuff, they gotta follow orders from Me.

and i dont like people tellin me i am rong it is real distractin... and it is hard for me to make real crisp decishins when ther is someone in the room lookin at me like i got six heads... like i am crazy or somthin... my administrashin people have got to no their place... which is to take orders.

now some people are sayhin that my loyality network is full of incompitent people that should not be allowed to run anythin... well that is ok because they dont have to be compitent because they all take their orders direct from Me, and i never make a mistake... be cause baby jesus talks out of my gut which is never rong, i make all my decishins from my gut. and they are never ever rong.

bye for now and stay loyal to your Dear Leader.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

I have not started drinking again.

hi... you kno there are some rumers goin around.. that i have started drinkin again.

well those rumers are not true... i have two maybe three whiskies a night and maybe some wine... and that aint what i call drinkin. it is just to get rid of the shakes i dont even get a buzz from it.

now i am not supposed to talk about it... but back in my drinkin days i would put away a bottle of whisky a day... on top of a twelve pack and maybe some wine too. and if it was still early i would get into the hidralic brake fluid.... i liked valvoline the best that shit would get you fucked up. i am real prowd of those days i could drink more than any one.

but i quit drinkin like that when i was about 40... when baby jesus came into my heart. so i could be president because drinkin too much can effect your brain sells... and i am real lucky it did not kill off all my brain sells too.

bye for now.

Friday, September 23, 2005

We are going to stay in there until the job is done.

hi... well you no that a lot of my time is bein taken up dealin with a disaster. and i want to ashure america that... we will stay in ther as long as it takes to get the job done.

now some people are point in fingers and plain the blame game... well the disaster is not our fault. be cause there is no way anybody could no that this would happen. and even if we did no there is nothin we could do to stop it. even if we had made an effort wich we did not. so you can see how it cant be oor fault.

and some peopl are sayin we ignored clear warnins and were not prepared for what happened. and that our prioritys were all scrued up and we didnt have the resorces in place to get the job done... and that the leadership was incompitent. well i disagree. i just do.

and people are complainin about the cost... that the disastr is costin too much. well i say we are not goona quit until the job is done... no matter how much it is gonna cost. under under my leader ship we are gonna prevail.

bye for now

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Hurricanes are dangerous.

Hi... you know with all the hurricains goin around it is real important to know about them... so i have been readin a book about hurricans. so i can be in charge the next time it happins.

did you no that they have winds over a hunnert miles an hour. and they can smash buldins and stuff. the middle of the hurricain is the eye there are no winds in the eye but they come back around on the other side.

and one thing the book did not say is why baby jesus made hurricains if they are so dangeros. and i asked dick why and he didnt here me be cause he was tappin on his pace maker tryin to get it to work.

an i have the wether chanel on all the time now not espn so we will not get surprised again like we did the last time. and if i see a hurricain i am gonna call the wether lady and tell her.

anyway hurricains are real dangeros so if you see one comin you shuld get out of the way. bye for now.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

I have a plan to rebuild New Orleans.

hi i am back from my vacation agin... you know disasters work out real good for us be cause after a disaster america looks to me for leader ship... be cause i am the only dear leader america has... so even if i created the diaster my self they still have to submit to my leader ship... and that is our system and it is a real good system.

now wen there is a disaster we always use it to seeze more power and stuff for us... and i have my best guy on that karl rove... after the dis aster he called me from his hospitle bed... be cause he is havin surgery on his pee pee... and the first thing he said is he said we cant let all them refugees get the residensy in texas they have to vote in looisiana or else all the calculashuns are throne off... and i said karl you are a real smart guy i am puttin you in charge of the hole re construshun.

and we are workin on all kinds of plans like cuttin more taxes and stuff. and the refugees arent gonna be allowed to sue anyone. and they will to go privit christine schools and stuff. and we have lots of other good ideas too...

bye for now.

Friday, September 02, 2005

I am satisfied with the response to Katrina.

hi... i have been talkin to folks about the response to the katrina hurricain... gettin opinions and stuff... and you know we are doin a real good job. my home land security guy, chertoff, he is doin a real good job, he has donated a lot to republicans. and my feema guy to. they are part of my loyalty network so you no they are doin a real good job. so we are not gonna have any hearins or stuff like that.

and i am gonna survey the damage and get back to washington... be cause we gotta have a legislativ response and i am gonna take the lead on that... we gotta cut the taxs on the oil producers they are real hurt by the hurrican... so they will not have to pay any more taxes. and the enviro ment laws too, we gotta change them in a hurry be cause of the oil problems...

now i here that there were some people in new orleens that did not gas up there suvs and drive away when the hurricane was comin. and some of em dint even have a car. and some of em are still in there and there is some dead ones too. well you kno there is a message here. be cause you can not count on the govermint to bale you out if you do not have personal responsibilty. and that is what is called an idiology. and we have a real good idiology in our govermint.

and i bet a lot of librels who hate america are gonna say that havin 40 per sent of the national gard in iraq fitin for freedom hurt the response. and i disagree with that. i just do.

you know all this leadin is tirin me out so i am takin another vacation... and it will be for two weeks, and no daily thots either be cause i am real tired out and i need my vacation so i can lead america real good. bye bye for two weeks.