Friday, September 29, 2006

We didn't know.


hi... sorry about the no posts in a while but i am real bissy workin on the re elecshin. and it is gonna go real good. we are gonna win on nashinil security... be cause we do a real good job makin america safe... and the dem o crats are real week and thay want a bunch of laws and stuff to pertect the terrorsits with... so they can hert our familys and stuff... ha ha they are big dummys for going for that...

an we are gonna be talkin about all the progres we are maikin in iraq... and how none of this is our falt...

see it was suposed to be real easy to take over the contry we did not no how hard it was gonna be... so you cant blame us.

see the thing is we dindt now that the insurginsy was gonna be so hard. i was just talkin about it with my aids... and i said did any buddy no how hard the insurgincy was gonna be... and karl said he didn't no.. and condi she didnt no either... and dick cheny... my vice presidint... he dindt no... and rummy saed that no body new. and i said thats wat i thought... see it was totally unpredicitible.. so it is not owr falt that we did not get ready for the insergency...

an besides even if we did no about the insergensy.. we were gonna invade anyway... be cause iraq was gonna attak us anyway with the w m d so we cold not wait a damn minnit... we had to take out sadam be fore he blew up the twin towers agin with his w m d...

now there wasnt any w m d there... but that is not my falt... see the c i a tricked us they said there was some there... first they were like we dont know... we saed are you shure are you shure... an then they started given us the rite reports... so you see there was no choise we had to attack...

and i wold do it agin... even if i new that ther was no w m d there.... be cause spreadin freedom is real importint to keep ing us safe... see the terrorist are real mad at us be cause they live in a real bad regiem and it makes em hate our freedom... so we have got to change there regiem so it is a democrisy... and they will lern to like fredom and stuff and wont be so mad to attack us all the time... do you think we shold not be attakin those people... well you are a real dummy if yo do think that... be cause that is wat the terorist want you to think...

they want you to think i made a real big mistaek... so you better stop thinkin that... be cause i did not make a mistaek... and you are helpin the terorist with all your kweshtins...

it is all a bunch of cut and run second gessing... so you better stop secind gessing me or i will inflict you good...

bye for now

Thursday, September 07, 2006

The Path To 9/11

hi... you no it is al most 9 11... which is a real busy time of year aroun the white house... be cause we have gotta get ready for the aniversery... and even tho it happined... three or four years ago... i rememmer it real good...

i rememmer wen the supreme court called me and said that i won the cort case against al gore and i wold be the next presidint... they put me for like two or three weeks in a room with my aids... who were gonnta tel me all about the forin policy...

they tole me that i had to atack iraq as soon as possible.. be cause sadam is a real bad man.. he gased his own peopl and stuff... and tried to kill my daddy.. plus they got a lot of oil and stuff that we need... and they are real week and they cant protect them seves from the us mitieary forces...

now that evil man slicky bill clintin... i had to meet with him too... and i dint pay him any attenshin be cause he is a real bad man who disgrased the presidincy... he says he tole me about al kayda... but i diesagree with that... be cause i dont remmember him talkin about al kayda an terorism...

an there was some of my aids... that said a terorist atack might even be good for the contry... be cause it wold give us the excyuse to attack iraq... now i dont no if i ever decided that... myself... but we dint do much about terrorism.

now the cia... dam they were always after me about the dam terorism... an i got tired of hearin it... this one time they botherd me on my vacashin... this was in augist 01... and this skinny anilist guy was briefin me... and i said ok you covered yer skinny ass... and i went bike ridin...

any way wen the atack came... we was all real surprised... we wer not expectin any attack so big... an i rememmer it real good that was the story about the goat... heh heh that was a real good story.

but it was a real sad day for amierica... an we decided real fast there wasnt gonna be any investigashins...

but then there was that dam comisshin... and i put my foot down real hard and saed that there wasnt gonna be no investigashins... but they had it any way... and we were real conserned about gettin supeenas... an i said i dont have to go along with this be cause i am the dam president... what is the use of bein the damn presidint if i have to testify...

so they sent me over to have a visit with the comishin... just to sit down an talk a spell... an we made shure no public and no camras... an they sent me down there with my vise presidint... dick cheny... to make shure that i new the answers real good.

now i here they made a movie about it... it is called the Path to 9/11 and it is gonna be on saterday and sun day too... and we have got a copy of it and they make it real clear... bill clintin didnt kill bin ladin when he had a real good chance... so it is all his falt.... ha ha i win again...

any way your dear leader wants you to wach Path to 9/11 on ABC because it is gonna be a real good tv show....

bye for now

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

America is safer, but not yet safe.


hi... you no lately i have been meetin with a lot of yur o peans... heh heh... i remmemmer this one time i was getting briefed by my aids to meet with some yur o peans.... an i said condi say yur a pean... and she said yur a pean... an i said i no thats why my boots is so wet... heh heh yeah i love that joke.

that remines me of the time i had to take a test... you no my family is real importent in the contry... my dad was presidint and stuff... but not every famliy memmer is ready for public servise... so they make us take a test to see if we are ready for it... if you dont pass the test then you have to work in the famly businiss... and the test is that they give you a boot full of pee and you have to get it out... an i passed the test but it was real hard it took me two tries... the first time i just put the boot on and walked aroun... and let the pee come out the top... an it worked ok but it got my socks wet... an my dad was there an he said try it again son... and he made this hand moshin like he was turnin a boot over... be cause the trick is you gotta turn the boot over and all the pee pores out the top of it... so i got it on the second try... an i was real glad because that way i could be presidint...

an it is real fun bein presidint... it is a real big onner for peopl to meet me that have to be real respecful and stuff... and they say a presidint is suppose to talk real sofisticated... but i do wat i want... i like to play tricks and jokes on the peopl who i meet...

like wen i meet some new aids... i always get off a big fart... and they have to smell it be cause i am presidint... heh heh... this one time wen i was meetin the presidint of japan... mr hoochie koochie... i was meetin him and he went to shake my hand... and wen he shook it i got off a real big fart... heh heh you sholda seen his face... and he had to smell it because i am the leader of the world... heh heh is sure is fun bein the presidint.

bye for now

ps dont worry about the elecshins we are gonna scare every one real good with the terrorism... an they will vote for us be cause they are so scared... and we will have our power for a bunch more years... bye