Sunday, November 12, 2006

I am a great strategic thinker.

hi... you no that i am the ferst m b a presidint... an i remmer businiss scool... i used ta sit in the back row and make wise craks... be caues i am not the kinda guy who is a studier i am a do er... i dont like thinkin too mush about it be cause... i am gided by my gut and what my gut tells me about my prinsibles and beleifs... an i like to take bold acshin to get my prioritys...

like wen i was in the oil bisniss... i had my own compiny and there was lots of investers that we had... an there was this... big feild in texas were there wasnt any oilwells... an i sead... look at that we are gonna drill a lot of oil wells in there... so we can get the oil out.

an some fancy experts... geoligists and stuff... saed that theres no oil in that land... an i sead... hey tubby... wen i was in scool i use to beat up guys like your for there lunch money... now you go drill me those wells...

now i dont rememmer how the wells turned out... but we sold the compiny to the saudis for.. like.. ten times wat it was worth... heh heh... that proves wat a good bisnis man i am... an i am a real good presidint too.

bye for now

Thursday, November 09, 2006

I had a nice meeting with the Speaker-Elect.



hi... you no i had a real nice lunch with the new congriss lady... nansy pelosy i call her nansy pansy... an we talked about freedom an the prioritis that america has... be cause one thing that i have laerned is... that wen you have an elecshin and it is over... then you for get all about it an you have got to start doin what you think is rite for america...

she tole me that she has got a agenda for america... i think that is real cute... an i tole her that we are gonna be workin on given me more power... be cause i do not have enouf yet to keep america safe with... an that she is gona obey my demans or i am gonna inflict her good... an i think i got the mesige that i am the comander aroun here... an i espect them to work with me on my bipartisin ajenda... an that i dont expect any one to qweshtin my decishins...

so it was a real good elechsin.

bye for now

p s i supose you herd about rummy... well... we desided that if the dem o crat party won that... we were gonna get rid of rummy... dick was begin me to keep rummy be cause they are gonna go after him next... well... i was jest gettin sick of all the pukin and suiside atempts rummy was doin... it was funny at first but then it started gettin kinda old...

an this new guy... bob gates i call him mr bob... i do not like this new guy... he is one of the guys that work for my dad... an i do not want him comin around telin me wat to do in iraq i no how to make fredom real good. bye

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

No one could predict that the Democrats would win.



hi... you no it was another real good elecshin day for me... my aids took me down to cast my ballit... and wen i look at it i sed... hey... were is my name... be cause my name was not on it. and my aids said that it was not on there be cause... i am doin sush a good job bein presidint that they did not want to put meon the ballit... and i was re electid unanimushly. an that is real good for america be cause i am the one that baby jesus talks to...

now it is up real long past my bed time... but i think i herd some one sayin that the dem o crat party has won the elechin... well... no one culd have perdicted that... we were thinkin that we were gonna pick up... like... ten or twenny seats be cause of the real good job i do pertectin the contry... an i aksed karl if we were gonna lose the eleschin.. an he saed no way... and i asked tony snow... an dick... an rummy... an they all think we are gonna win real big... and we are not gonna let the dem o crat party steel the elecshin.

well any way... i am not escared of congriss... we are gonna keep doin wat we want... an if you tried any thing funny i wold just take the power away... be cause of the war... ha ha i cant lose... and so tomorow i am gonna demand yer uncondishinal surenner to dear leader...

bye for now

Saturday, November 04, 2006

We will prevail.


hi... you no i am flyin all over the contry to get the eleshins out... and wen i do that it feels like i am a grate comander flyin out to the batel field to see the damage of owr victery... an my aids have bin flyin me to the batel ground states... like nebraska an kansas... an idaho... i da ho... heh heh...

yeah i like it... and the crouds are real inthus i astick wen i go out there to bash the dem o crat party... the crouds are real small tho... my aids have bein tellin me that is be cause all the voters are at home restin... so they can come out on the eleshin day and vote real hard for the republicins... so it is a good thing that the crouds are real small...

now i here some peopl... are gettin woried about the elecshins... well... my aids tole me that i am gonna be re electid for sure... an i am still gonna be presidint... so i can rule the contry with executiv orders and stuff like that... and demand every ones obedieence.

an that is good be cause we do not wanna change the corse we are on... wich is a real good victery corse for america... an all congriss can do is pass laws an stuff wich i dont have to folow be cause there is a war goin on... an i need to have my war powers in tackt so i can keep america safe... no body can argew with that.

bye for now

Thursday, November 02, 2006

We're going to brazen it out.


hi... you no i have bin travelin all over this grate contry to go to the eleschins... an i am gonna win the eleshin be cause of my real good leader ship... america nows that i am the only one that is bold and resoloot enouf to keep them safe... be cause i go on the ofensive and never change my mine about it no mater what happins next... that is what a real stron leader like me does.

now i have got real good aids helpin me... dick... an rummy... and they are doin a real good job... manigin all the wars.. an they are gonna stay on as long as i am in offise.

i no that some uppity peple are sayin... opine ing... that i shold get rid of rummy... well... i am not gonna do that... be cause i did not make any mistakes... an dick tole me that... if rummy goes then they will go after him next... and that is what the terorists want... they are puttin these real bad picshures on the t v screen to make it look lik... like we are losin the war... but we are not it is all to inflinse the elechsins... an you are all juest helpin the terorists get what they want...

i have bein sayin that if we lose this war we are in real big troubl... so that proves we will win it... the only way to lose is to get out of the sitschuation be fore we win it. an that is jest waht the terorists want... they are atackin us so we will leve there contry... well we are not gonna leave it... an that is how we win...

now ther are some people... dem o crat party... who want us to pull out be fore the job is done... well... wat are you a dummy... why do the dem o crats love terorists so much... they do not unnerstan the threat... wich will get real emboldined if we do not stay in there... on teh ofensive.

look every body new this was gonna hapen... be cause this al ways happens with a war they take a whole bunch of years... we have gotta stay in iraq until it can stick togeter and defend it self from forin fiters... you saw how easy it was to invade it... it took us like... three weeks... they have got to get there act togeter over there... and we have to stay as long as it takes... and we will... some fushure pres i dent is gonna pull out of iraq... be cause i shure as shit am not gonna do it... un less we win real soon... wich i cant say for shure...

be cause we did not antispiate the dificulty... so you cant blame us for not nowin this wold happen... no body new so how can you blame us god dam it..

bye for now