Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I demand that our ports be sold to the Arabs.

hi... you no a lot of peopl are gettin all worked up about us sellin our ports to the arabs... well i am gonna use all the presideshil powers i have to make sure the deal is gonna go throu.

now i kno i tole all you peopl to be real afraid of the arabs... and that they are attakin america with there wepins of mass distrucshin and we have to exterminate em all and distroy our constitutshin to keep us safe.

well these arabs... that we are sellin the ports to these are diferunt arabs... they are in bisnis and they are real rich. and they are not the ones to be afraid of.... who are real pore and spend all day on there nees prayin to allah and dont have any damn money.

an any way i dont no why i am essplain all this to you peopl... i am the commander and i say the deal is gonna get done i dont have to essplain anythin.

bye for now

Saturday, February 18, 2006

My faith is important to me.

hi... well you no it is sun day agin so my thot for the day is about baby jesus, wich is the little god that lives in my hart an tells me to invade contries and stuff... and he tole me i am gonna rule at his rite hand after the beest with sevin heds rises up out of the oshin.... and that is what makes me infaliable wich means i never make a mistaek.

an some times i get so happy thinkin about baby jesus that i dance around the oval ofice... and this one time i was dancin so hard i spilled my drink on the british ambasider... and then i tole him we are fitin a new kind of war and thats why we have to distroy the constitushin... ha ha yea i remember that day it was a real fun day.

bye for now.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

We are a nation at war.

hi... now some of you mite have heard that my vice president... dick... shot a man in the face with a shot gun... and when he got back to washingtin he cam in to essplain it... but i stopped him.

be cause owr nnation is at war... an that means me and dick can do whatever we want and we dont even have to essplain it.

now some peopl... are livin in a pre 9 11 world where the vice president cant shoot a man in the face with a shot gun... well... america is under attack. and that means there is not gonna be any essplinations or investigashins...

bye for now and keep yer head down

Friday, February 10, 2006

Iraq is free thanks to me.

hi... you kno some people are sayin that i played a real mean trick on iraq... blowen up there counry and then pullen out without given them security and eletrisity and water and food and stuff.

well, the reson we blew up there contry is to make them free not give them a lot of free stuff... they are gonna have to get there own security and stuff... and now they are free so it is time for them to get there own electrisity... and any way this has bin a lot more expensive then we thout and we are not gonna hang around for ever waitn for them to get there contry to gether we made them free what more do they want from me... freedom is a real good gift from god... and i am for spredin free dom and democrasy not given away a lot of free stuff to a bunch of iraqis. so taht is owr policy and it is a real good polcy.

bye for now

ps that pictur up there is supoosed to be a stachue of me wen i was flyin... it dont look like me but may be that is because i didnt go to the flying base in a long time an they forgot what i look like... i will rite a daily thout someday on my flyin days be cause i got some real funny stories... bye

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I will do whatever it takes to keep America safe.

hi... you no i have a real big responsiblity keepin america safe... and 9 11 jest shows how much i need to do it. an no one else is allowed to do it.

i was talkin about it with my lawyer al gonzoles... and he tole me that i have all the power i want if am usin it for nashinial security. and i can do any thin i want an no one can stop me.

so i asked him if i could invade contries and stuff and bom em and he said yes for shur... and i said can i ordere peopole killed and locked up for life he said yes...

and i said how about if congres and the cort judge donnsnt vote the rite way can i use my powers on em... and he sed yues if i am doin it to keep america safe...

and i seid... can i cancel elecshins and stuff if i am doin it to keep america safe... and he had to thinkn about that one but he saed i think so...

so i jest mite have to canceil the eleshins until it is safe for americins to go to the polls... ha ha it sure is fun bein the president

Thursday, February 02, 2006

I will destroy all the tyranny in the world to keep America safe.

hi... you no it is my mishin givin by god to distroy all the tirriny in the world... that is the only way america can be safe. and that is why we are in iraq and are gonna stay over there until all the tirriny is gone from the hole world.

now some peopl are askin me... were did i get that stratigy from. and it is real simple... this one summer wen i was in skule i was home for the summer... and owr back yard had a bunch of hornits in it. be cause there was hornits nests all around in the back yard... and one of em stung me. and so i new that i wuld never be safe until all the hornits were dead. so i got real lickered up and ran around kickin there nests and hitten at em with sticks and flickin lit matches at em to try to set em on fire.... and i dont rememmer how it turned out but i bet it turned out real good... and that is were i got my stratigy from... and it is a real good stratigy.

bye for now.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I am very pleased with my State of the Union address.

hi... you no last nite i gave my state speach... and it was a real good speech. but it is hard to rite be cause people keep trying to get there own projekts into it all the time.

like the thing with the ethinal... i sed what is that and they said it is alcohol like booze and i said that is goin in the speech...

and this one guy.. a skinny guy with glasses i did not no him... he was real big on this man animal hibred thing... and i sed what is that and he said it was this thing.. were they cross a man an animal... and i said well it sonds llike a manimal and is al kayda gonna get ahold of this tecnology and make a bunch of manimals and tern em loose in our contry... and he sed that is exactly right... and so i am real against manimals... i dont want to see man-tigeres and wherewolves and stuff sent by al kayda in owr schools and churshes too.. bitin people. so we are gonna put a stop to it.

so it was a real good sppeach... and i think i gave a real clear message to america.. that i am on the job an defendin america even tho the dem o crats want manimals to run wild and bite us. i am not gonna stand fer that when i am president. bye for now.