Monday, November 28, 2005

Pray for victory.

hi... well you no it is sunday agin so it is time for another thot about baby jesus... who lives in my hart and is the one true god.

baby jesus likes it wen you do the stuff he sais and he likes to be praised and stuff... and he gets mad if you dont do what he says and he makes hurricains and stuff.

and what baby jesus wants you to do now is support the war and support yer dear leader... and dont make him mad be cause he will inflict you.

so i want all good americans to go down to your local chuch and get down on your nees and preay to baby jesus for victory

and all the armies will get a baby jesus on the end of a long stick... and they will carry the baby jesus stick at the head of there armies wen they go out to do batle with the emeny. and it will shoot out fire bolts and stuff and owr armys will be invinsible wich means they cant be defeeted.

bye for now ps sorry about the late post but there was still a lot of wisky and stuff left over from thanks givin. bye and prey real hard for dear leader.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Conditions are becoming right for withdrawal from Iraq.

hi... well you no i am gonna anounse in the next few days that the condishins are becomin right for us to start pullin out of iraq...

and the condishins i am talkin about is the political condishins here in america... because i was waiten for the dem o crats to start calling for withdrawin the troop... and dam it took them for ever to do it.. but now we can start pullin out.

it is like with startin the war i made dam shure the dem o crat ledership all voted for the war... i set it up so they had to with the scary stories about wmd that were wrong but i blamed all that on the cia... so the dems can not blaem me for startin the war be cause they voted for it too... you see what that did to kery he could not run aginst me on the war be cause he voted for it.

and now the dem o crats are callin for pullin out of iraq... and that gives me cover to do it now you see... be cause now if things go right i will take all the credit... and if it goes rong then i will blame the dems for calling for the pull out and losin the war... you see i am real smart i always win.

bye for now...

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

America has much to be thankful for.

hi... well you all no that it is thanks givin time and it is time for america to be given thanks for all the things that it has to be thank full for... and one of them is god givin me to be the dear leader of america.

be cause i have had a lot of acomplishmints in the... three or four years i have been president. and they are

  • i redused the tax burdin on the americins that create jobs and stuff an you can just see the results
  • i made militery servise a lot more exsitin than it was before
  • the hole world respeks us now be cause they no we are not afraid to use awr pawr
  • america has a real strong executive now be cause of all the extra powers i granted myself after 9 11
  • i spread freedom and demo crasy all aroun the world so now it is safe for freedom and democrasy like america is.

and that is a lot. so every american shuld go down on there nees and praze baby jesus for makin me president... bye for now.

ps they are sayin i gotta shake up my administrashin if i want to save my presidensy... and i aint sayin i am gonna do it... be cause if i ask dick cheny who shuld be my vice presidnet he is just gonna pick himself again... and my loyalty network is already in all the high govermint jobs and stuff so were is my new aids gonna come from... so if any one wants to be my vise president let me no... bye and have a real good thanks givin

Sunday, November 20, 2005

God bless the Christians of China.

hi... you no these days i shur like to get away from washin tun... and i have bin travelin a lot lately... and i am over in china or somethin like that now. and i have bin meetin with the chineese leaders... like there president hu flung poo.. and lots of other leaders too.

now you kno we are workin on how we are gonna turn the politicle sissuashin around in washin ton... and i talk to karl about it every day. and he says i gotta go back to my base and get my base ennergized around me... that has bin our stratigy... wen i get my base... which is all the real americins who love baby jesus... and a few moderite voters then we have our power... and we can have it for a thousand years...

and so wen i was in china i visited a christin church... an i wrote in the gest book god save the christins of china... and i toll mr poo that he had to give the chrisins more rites and stuff... the base loves that.

and wen i get back we are gonna get to work on a big amenment to the constitushin that is gonna stop the gays gettin maried... and stop flag burnin too and a lot of other stuff we are gonna think up that the base is gonna love... and that will stop the slide. and then we will go on with our agenda... bye for now from china

Friday, November 18, 2005

I place a lot of trust in my Vice President.

hi... you no bein the presi dent is real hard work... and i am real lucky i have all these people who are my aids to help me make real good desishins for america.

now my vice presi dent is dick cheny... he is a real good aid... he is one of the real smart peopl who toll me that i had to invade iraq as soon as i got the chance... and he toll me that we would be greted with flowers and there would be no casulties.

and so wen 9 11 hapened we went rite over ther an invaded and there hasnt been another terrrisst attack in america since then... so that proves we are rite.

i am havin a real nice visit in asha and i wil rite more about that later but evry one is askin me about iraq... and all i have to say is we are gonna stay in there until the job is done why does every one keep askin me abou t it. anyway bye for now.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Critics of my Iraq policy are playing politics.

hi... i was up in alaska last weak talkin to the troops up here... i like talkin to troops they have orders to be real poliet and no that i am infalible wich means that i never make a mistaek.

now you no there is a lot of critics now about my deshishn to invade iraq... well i have a real good answr to that... be cause i made dam shur a lot of dem o crats voted for the war... so my ass is coverd real good. and that was esenshil to my stratigy.

i toll them that sadam has big fleets of droan aircraft that he is gonna fill up with small pocks and amtracks and send them over here to bom our cities with germs and that he has huge stock piles of chemicle weapins too and he is tryin to get a h bomb that he is gonna drop on our sities and give all that to al kayda so they can attack us agin too. and this was rite after 9 11 and be fore the mid term eleshins. and any one who was not votin for the war was a week stupid traitor and a homo pussy too. so they had to vote for it.

and now they are trien to take it back.... well i will not let them... and it is just the same if they trie to take there votes back then they are flip flopers and trater homos too.

and i am workin on a campain stratigy with karl rove and we are gonna hit back at them flip flopers and we will shut them up real quick so they have to stop the critisisn. and i will be givn a lot more speaches in front of the troops that my critiks are tryin to be tray. and if that dont work i will give some more speaches. bye for now.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

We do not torture.

hi... you no there is a lot of questins goin around about torcher... well...

this is a differnt kind of war and we have to fite in a differnt way... but we do not do torcher. and we have secret camps all over where we dont torcher them for years and years. and we never let em go we.. we interrigate em but we just dont torcher them...

it is like a hazin... like wen i was presidnet at dke we took these pleges and made them eat off the floor in dog bolls and wear dypers an stuff like that... it is like that in the interigashin camps... and if they wold just give us the infermashin then... we could stop not torcherin them... but we are still not gonna let em go be cuase they would just go out and do more terorism...

and i am doin this to make america safe. so you cant critisize. bye for now.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

I did not mislead America into war.

hi... you no there is a lot of talk now about the inteligense we used to get public opinyin and congress behind the war... the iraq war not the other one. and i just wanna set the record strait. be cause peopl are forgetin that saddam was a gatherin threat... and i will not sit around while gatherin threats gather to threatin america... i will take bold action to stop it.

now saddam was workin on real terrifien wepins... like these drones that he culd use to spread the bio warefare germs all over america. and here is a picsher of one

now if you are not terified yet... i got more. be cause they had to have facteries to make the germs in. and they make them in these mobil labs:

exsept then we lerned that they are not labs they are trucks to make hydrogin... the company that makes them said so. but we still had dick cheney out there talkin about the labs just to be on the safe side... be cause can you trust that one company to tell you the truth.

and we thot sadam had a nuculer program too be cause he was tryin to get uraneoum from africa and we had the papers to prove it.. ex cept the papers turned out to be forged but it was not our falt we did not do the forjeries and they were so good they foolled us.

and the tubes ther were these aluminim tubes that coulda been used in a bomb... now the buro crats were tellin us there was no wayh those tubes could be used for nucular but how could we be sher of that... we had to assume there was nucular intenshins espeshilly with the uraneoum dealy.

and we relied on a bunch of sorses that turned out to be lien to us... and some times they were nown liers be fore we started relien on them... and one of em amed chalaby is a iran agent...

but how culd we be sure t hey were lian... we had to assume it was all true... so america will be safe wich it is now... be cause we were not afraid to fight for americas freedom like some people. bye for now.

Friday, November 04, 2005

I am having a very nice visit to South America.

hi... you no wen they said i was goin to south america i said i was al ready there for the hurracains... but they said no it is even more south than that.... it is like another contry. and it was a real long plain ride to get down here.

but i am in join my visit i am real popular down here... there are thousans and thousans of people in the streets wavin picturs of me and liten fires so peopl can see the picturs better...

and that pictur up there is me with the president of chilli... i told him i love chilli but i did not no it had its own president... and he looked kinda confused and asked a guy somethin in spanish and they both laffed... so i am makin all kinds a frends down here for america.

now south america is were veniswala is... my aids says we gotta liberate veniswaila.. and you no i am always ready to spred freedom and dem o crasy everwere i go so i am gonna get on that veneswala thing and liberate em real good...

bye for now.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

I will clean house in the White House.

hi... you no it is time for a big shake up in the white house... be cause there are lots of rumers goin around about my aids... about karl rove and dick cheny too... and ther is a lot of wisperin goin on there is a wisperin campain... and i am gona clean house...

i am gonna find all the staffers that have bin wisperin... and when i cach them i will inflict them good... i am puttin peopl under servailanse and i will catch them be cause they are breakin the nummer one rule around the white house... wich is no one goes against my will... they are wors than terrorriss thay are tryin to weakin my resolve and stuff. and i do not tollerate disloyalty... so i will get them and karl is helpin me with it. and then every one will lern the lessin that no one opposes my will in the wite house... bye for now.